Was it inevitable that Peter Dutton would have a ‘Hawaii moment’? I’m not so sure. Scott Morrison pissing off on a beach holiday while his home state burned received such righteous anger from the entire Australian public that at this point every politician must be hyper-aware of not repeating it in any way, shape or form.

But this week we got the repeat: While other Queensland state and federal politicians and their teams got hands on helping their electorates prepare for Tropical Cyclone Alfred (then expected to be a category 2 cyclone making landfall on Friday), Dutton has already left his home state on Tuesday. As reported by the AFR, he flew to Sydney to attend a Liberal party fundraiser at the home of Merivale billionaire Justin Hemmes, despite the fact that his electorate of Dickson was expected to be in Alfred’s path of destruction. It was only after these reports that Dutton cancelled Wednesday and Thursday fundraisers in Melbourne  (with Macquarie Bank and the Pharmacy Guild), and was apparently back at his ranch by Wednesday night. 

It’s such a wildly bad look, I struggled to understand it at first. But after I worked through the Four Stages of Auspol What-The-Fuckery, I achieved a state of horrific, enlightened clarity: Dutton is not a dummy for abandoning his constituents in a time of crisis – he made the correct political decision. Follow me down the thought spiral…

Stage 1: Disbelief (Genuine) – Dutton doesn’t get it.

“I cannot believe Dutton would leave not only his home state, but his own electorate, during an emergency weather event. Even if you took the cynical view* and assume he doesn’t care about helping people prepare for possible destruction and helping them be less scared, it’s such a bad look politically. 

The optics are even worse than Scott Morrison going to Hawaii, because that was years out from a federal election. Dutton’s only got, like, two months at most to convince people he’ll be a good leader for the country… Morrison had 18 months to get people to forget about ‘I don’t hold a hose, mate’ and he couldn’t do it. And Morrison went into that election in a safe seat. DICKSON IS MARGINAL. Dutton only has a 1.7% margin in his own damn seat – which is already down from the 4.6% margin he had before the last election.

Dutton has to be on another planet to think it’s a good idea to abandon the only people who are keeping him personally in parliament...”

*Ironically, this is nowhere near as cynical as this train of thought gets… buckle up. 

Stage 2: Cynicism – Oh wait, Dutton does get it.

“Unless… Dutton believes it’s not really Dickson voters that keep him in parliament at all. Abandoning your constituents is such an obviously bad look, if you assume he knows that and has weighed up the decision it must mean the reason for leaving is more politically advantageous than staying. Morrison leaving for holiday is especially foolish because there is no advantage to be gained from taking a lil vacay. But attending a fundraiser hosted by a high-profile Sydney billionaire, this close to an election?

It’s their money truly – not the opinion of mere voters – that could be the difference between winning and losing, in Dickson and across the country. After all, it’s the funding and ideological support of billionaires, corporations and the wealthy that influences and controls the message sent to voters about Dutton, Albanese, and Australian politics in general. Or at least, it attempts to.

The decision to bail on Dickson in favour of a mansion in Vaucluse is a statement about whose support is more important for Dutton’s victory: not his own voters, but the wealthy elites everywhere.”

Stage 3: Disbelief (Derogatory) – No wait, Dutton doesn’t get it!

“Ok, that’s clearly the truth, but I still can’t get past how bad the optics are – even billionaires must understand that? It’s equally important for the conservative elite class for this country to have a conservative, anti-worker government and Prime Minister. And they know it’s important to manufacture consent for these ideas with the public – otherwise they wouldn’t bother peddling their own rags-to-riches stories and posing in working class cosplay.

So why didn’t Dutton just message Hemmes and say, ‘Hey, this storm thing is kicking off so I can’t make the fundraiser – gotta stay here and get photographed filling up sandbags, you know how it is?’ Surely Hemmes & Co would not only understand, but would want Dutton to go do what is politically expedient? 

They can’t be so out-of-touch that they all don’t understand how it looks… Oh…”

Stage 4: Horrific Enlightenment – Dutton made the ‘right’ move.

“Oh wait. I’m wrong again. Dutton did make the politically expedient move after all. He knew he could cancel on the bankers and pharmacists. But billionaires? Billionaires will not tolerate being told by a democratically-elected politician that the voting public is more important at this given moment.

The wealthy buy their access, and it makes them entitled to much more from a politician than us poors get. They are locked in a power struggle with our political representatives. Who has the upper hand? Come election time, they get to force the pollies to prove their loyalty, to kiss the ring. Humiliate them a little. They’ve got more leverage pre-election than post-election*, so it’s a good time to flex it – demand they jump, tell ‘em how high.

Dutton can say no to voters. He can say no to the public service. He can say no to the banks, to industry bodies and associations. He can say no to his own party members and fellow MPs, some of whom may still believe in a different version of the Liberal party and Coalition.

But he cannot – will not – say no to the uber-wealthy elite who pull so many of the puppet strings in Australian politics. No matter the circumstances.”

*So do we, but that’s writing for another day. 

– Crystal
Founder & Chief of Everything at Zee Feed
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Smart stuff on the Internet 💭

All the stuff I found on the web that made me think, smile, or have an ‘aha!’ moment. Spend your Sunday reading them – you'll be better off for it:

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Mainstream journalism is just getting that the entire Trump 2.0 administration is very online – the old rules about what is sane and normal do not apply. It’s also why tech/internet publications like Wired and 404 Media are doing a much better job of covering US politics than the NY Times and Washington Post (I’ve basically stopped reading both). “The new class of Trump appointees no longer feel the need to cosplay as legitimate. It’s a total administrative embrace of, not even misinformation and disinformation, but whatever they’ve seen on their feeds. This is also likely why President Donald Trump and Second-President Elon Musk are so obsessed with Fort Knox right now. They saw a post about it.”

Inaugural NSW Pill Testing Trial at Yours and Owls a Success as Government Commits to Work With Festivals in Future on Rolling Stone Australia
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This TikTok about why Millennials are a different generation (not better, but distinctly different to those older and younger). And this TikTok by Evn the Bioethicist explaining the specific eugenicist beliefs of Elon Musk.

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