- Thinking About It by Zee Feed
- Posts
- An Empathy Conundrum
I am haunted by the footage of 81-year-old Republican Senate Leader Mitch McConnell having a medical incident in the middle of a press conference. I’m sure you’ve seen the footage (if you haven’t, it’s here). Politics aside – don’t worry, we’re coming right back to it in a sec – it must be scary to lose control in a highly public moment like that. I can’t help but think of my own loved ones, and how cruel the last decades of life can be.
But because McConnell is literally one of the most powerful politicians in the world, we can’t actually separate politics from the human empathy we have for him. This tweet really sums up how I feel about the whole thing:
There is a type of person who is, scarily, unable to access empathy for others until the bad thing happens to them too. Once it does, their position changes and they loudly demand the support and empathy they previously denied to others. These kind of people don’t really listen to or believe anything that contradicts their own direct life experience. A lot of them are in politics.
In Australia, two Liberal women come to mind. The first is former media adviser Rachelle Miller. To kill criticism of the Robodebt program and intimidate victims from speaking out, Miller devised and executed a media strategy to drum up the ‘dole bludger’ narrative in conservative media like The Australian, A Current Affair and 2GB radio, including leaking the personal information of victims to those outlets.
But later on, Miller had an affair with her boss, former minister Alan Tudge, that became (allegedly) emotionally and physically abusive. As a result of the affair she was bullied and discriminated against by another Liberal minister, Michaelia Cash. Miller eventually received a $650,000 settlement for the bullying and discrimination claims. She has spoken out a lot about how difficult it was to seek justice, the mental toll it takes to “fight a broken system”, as a victim how much she was silenced and her right to be heard…
…All considerations she refused to give victims of Robodebt when she was personally silencing them. As she told Rick Morton on the 7AM podcast, Miller now has empathy for Robodebt victims… because she now understands what it is to suffer trauma, depression, PTSD and, ironically, be unable to work.
The second woman is current Liberal Senator Jane Hume. Last year, Hume was praised for giving an emotional and passionate speech in support of passing euthanasia laws in the ACT and NT. She had previously voted against giving the territories the right to pass those laws. What changed her mind? Her terminally ill father was able to end his life on his own terms in Victoria, where voluntary-assisted dying is enabled. In Jane’s own words: "I once voted against this legislation, but I will be voting in favour of it today… Having experienced it, having lived it, having held the hand of a person that I deeply loved."
When it comes to issues of human rights, justice and fairness, of course we don’t want people to force people to stick with outdated beliefs they once held. It’s a good thing to update your point-of-view when you receive new information. Allowing people to grow and change their minds is also empathetic, but it locks us into an empathy conundrum.
The likes of Rachelle Miller and Jane Hume (and many more across the political spectrum) scare me. Because it has to be asked: What if the bad thing never happens to them? And they never had reason to change their stance? Unaffected, these kinds of people will let the rest of us suffer because they are uninterested in understanding others’ pain.
It’s also tricky because the nature of the life-impacting events that changed their points-of-view are so sensitive – serious health problems, emotional abuse, sexual harassment. I don’t want anyone to have to experience these things! And I suspect that in wanting to be kind, we shy away from necessary criticism. It is difficult to strike the right balance, the right timing, and so we end up just letting it go and never really having the conversation.
Miller and Hume are good examples to illustrate this point, because they are proof that ‘representation’ is not a good solution. They are women, but their actions held many women down. U.K Prime Minister Rishi Sunak is another one. Yeah, he’s brown. But policies under his conservative government continue to uplift the uber-wealthy class he belongs to, keeping poor Brits of all colours under the boot.
Changing this goes way beyond wanting more women in politics, or more Asians in parliament, or more Black CEOs, or whatever. To use Alison Pennington’s words, we need a “shift in the logic” of power. Bringing genuine empathy and love for people into institutions. I don’t need people in power to necessarily look exactly like me, as long as they are capable of getting outside their own perspective.
Good stuff on Zee Feed rn:
In case you missed it, on Wednesday I sent out a special edition of the newsletter with a feminist analysis of the Barbie movie! I’ve received so many lovely messages about it already, so sharing again here as a reminder to read if you haven’t already. CLICK HERE TO READ.
Smart stuff on the Internet 💭
All the stuff I found on the web that made me think, smile, or have an ‘aha!’ moment. Spend your Sunday reading them – you'll be better off for it:
Sinead O’Connor Shares Rememberings on Celebrity Memoir Book Club podcast
A great podcast to listen to in the wake of Sinead’s passing. Her passion, empathy and commitment to justice even at her own expense, and while enduring such pain, is incredible.
When We Watch And Just Like That, Is The Joke On Us? on Refinery29
Really great piece by friend of Zee Feed, Zahra Campbell-Avenell, about why the Sex & The City reboot sucks so much. I hadn’t been able to put my finger on it, but she is 100% right: “Its characters are no longer relatable working women… Though we were once able to suspend disbelief because the characters appeared to be working for their wealth, now, their elitism just feels like an insult to our intelligence.”
The Internet Went From Playground to Minefield for Artists Like Doja Cat — So They’re Logging Off on Rolling Stone
“It comes with the caveat of audiences feeling control and ownership over the careers they’ve had a hand in building online. With that, there’s actually more of a threat that they will be washed away or replaced by the next viral artist, hit, or moment if they veer too far away from what they’re known for. And once an artist is locked into a certain internet identity, it can be hard to change it.”