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- Srs qu: should IWD be about men?
If you've been part of the Zee Feed community for a while, you'll know I have complicated feelings about International Women's Day (this coming Wed). I'm vocally critical about how corporate, commercial, exclusive and condescending IWD can be. But that doesn't mean I think we should scrap it altogether! I do think it's very important to have an entire day where we focus on the issues, discuss strategies and honestly evaluate the progress we are/are not making towards improving life for women and girls. By 'we' I mean all of us – society, wholesale. So here's a radical thought...
Should we make International Women's Day about men?
Hear me out! You go to these events – especially industry ones – and it's typically a lineup of female speakers, leaders and experts discussing the challenges faced by women in a certain sector. It can be very energising, but it's rarely educational because the almost entirely female audience already has an intimate knowledge of the challenges and potential solutions. There is usually only a small group of the people who need to hear the message most: Men.
This isn't about the labor of organising IWD events, but about redundancy. I could talk for hours with the female founders in my circle about how we get fewer opportunities & less cash than our male peers – that won't change anything unless we also do a good job of communicating those issues to male investors, advertisers, decision makers, and even our male peers (including how they can help by bringing us into their circles). Men are part of these systems, which means we can't solve the problems without their participation, which means we can't afford to not include them in the convos.
The problem is that men don't really listen to women. Even the good ones. They generally don't read books by women, listen to podcasts with female hosts, or follow social media accounts that talk about the challenges women face. So although they are welcome to most IWD events and content, many men think it's not 'for them' – that it's only for women. Given the way most IWD stuff is marketed, I can't really blame them.
Even though it is pretty annoying, I do think we need to start making a concerted effort to involve men in IWD. I'm not talking about diluting things for their comfort or elevating their voices... but consider how to nudge them through the door. If you're going to an industry event, ask a male colleague to come with. Send your friend an article related to something he's interested in (F1 article in the recommendations is good for motorsports guys). Talk with the trusted men in your life about the specific challenges you see and face. While I completely understand the desire to have vulnerable conversations only among those with shared experience, we can't do that 100% of the time.
I'll probably get criticism about centering men in my POV, and that is fair tbh. Some will say this is pandering, and that we shouldn't have to make a special effort to include our oppressors. Fully agree, but what's the alternative? Try to dismantle the patriarchy without the other 50% of the population noticing? It won't work.
Solidarity is the only strategy imo, and we have to be okay with putting in the effort to build it. Ladies, do not leave your man at home – it's so important they really hear about the messes we're dealing with.
Good stuff on Zee Feed rn:
CONFESSION: Even though everyone loves the monthly Good News roundup, Simran & I dread it because sometimes it is really, really hard to find any good news and that in itself is depressing. Not this time! We actually had to cut the list for February 2023 down – here's to many more months like it 🥺 CLICK HERE TO READ.
Smart stuff on the Internet 💭
All the stuff I found on the web that made me think, smile, or have an ‘aha!’ moment. Spend your Sunday reading them – you'll be better off for it:
On the internet, nobody knows you’re a human on The Verge"The more people use computers to prove they’re human, the smarter computers get at mimicking them... Imagine if you’re a high school student and you turn in your paper and the teacher says, ‘The AI detector said this was written by an AI system. Fail.' It’s almost an insolvable problem just using technology alone."
The Fangirlification of Formula 1 on The CutThis is fascinating to me! "Some fans, like Lauren Asher, an avid romance reader who was introduced to Formula 1 through Drive to Survive, have taken to creating their own media about the sport. She was so inspired by the docuseries that she wrote 'Throttled', her debut romance novel and the first of her 'Dirty Air' series based in the world of Formula 1, a year later."
Shermon Burgess becomes the latest far-right figure to convert to Islam on Crikey"The intersection of homophobia, transphobia and misogyny between former adversaries has led to an unlikely allyship between the far-right and conservative Muslims, particularly with young men."
Toxic Influence: A Dove Film video on YouTubeAt the launch of Dove Australia's new #DetoxYourFeed campaign when they played this 3min film, multiple people in the room were crying. My heart was in my stomach. Basically, they took the audio of beauty influencers talking about botox, dieting, etc and used deepfake technology to make it look like regular mums were giving that advice... And then played the fake videos to their teen daughters. Harrowing stuff, in the same vein as my viral-ish beauty essay.